I wonder...

I was thinking this morning about regret. I wonder if we regret more the things we do in life that are failures or the things we never did and wish we would have. I think of all of the students who have graduated from High School under me, and how many of them say, "I wish I would have taken the time to share Jesus with people." None of them say, I wish I wouldn't have gone to that party, although they probably wish they hadn't - what sticks out to them are the things they could have done for God, but were afraid to.

New Testament - Old doubts...

Last night I was thinking about the New Testament. I was thinking just how outlandish it all is. The idea that God would put on skin, that He would walk around, that He died and that through that our sins are forgiven and we are redeemed from an afterlife spent in hell. I thought about the idea that He was then raised back to life after being for 3 days, I mean, His heart had not beaten for three days, rigamortis had set in, he was , . It is all so unbelievable. What I started thinking about is how there are so many other documents that record events that are just as spectacular or at least similar in their miraculous nature, that we simply discount as frauds. The book of Mormon is one that comes to mind readily.
Here is what I realized. The New Testament is different from all other Manuscripts of this type. It is a set of documents that were all written in the same span of time that the events took place. Let me explain it this way. People live for 60-90 years. Jesus died in the early 30 AD's. The new Testament was all written before or up to about the 80's. This means that a maximum of 40 years had surfaced between the latest writings of the New Testament and the of Jesus. THIS MEANS: that the reports of the New Testament were testable. Individuals could have read the gospel of Matthew, Mark, Luke or John, and simply gone and talked with Nicodemus or Zacchaeus and asked if they had really witnessed Jesus in the manner the gospels record. No other document that I can think of has this same kind of "testability" to it. Joseph Smith wrote about things that had supposedly happened in the past. There is no way we can go and ask someone, did this happen. But early observers of Christianity had this luxury. It is no wonder the church grew by leaps and bounds in those early days. People in Jerusalem had seen all that had happened, they had heard reports and they were asking themselves, "what does this all mean?" Along comes Peter, he does a bit of preaching and explains the "Good News" and THOUSANDS accept Christ. It is no wonder. They accepted because it filled in the blanks for what they had witnessed.

Ezekiel Ramblings

I have been reading Zeek lately.  Some of it fly's right past me, but other parts are really sticking.  Last night, I was really struggling, I didn't really want to read the Bible.  I just wanted to read the books I've been getting into.  I was just about to give in and leave the Bible on the night stand, when I thought, "why would I read Bill Gates or Andy Stanley, when I could read the God of the Universe?"  So, I opened up Zeek and started reading.  I read about how God was fed up with the shepherding that the Israelites leaders had been doing and how He Himself was going to come and be their shepherd.  I began thinking about Jesus being the "Good Shepherd", about how Matthew said that Jesus had compassion on people because they were helpless and like sheep without a shepherd, and how Jesus asked Peter to feed His Sheep.  I could see Jesus being the direct fullfillment of this prophecy spoken in Ez. 34.  How God Himself showed us how to lead, how to love, how to have compassion.  It was just super interesting and a really cool study.  When it was all done with, I realized that if I had given in and not read, I would have missed it.  I would have missed seeing my savior fulfill a prophecy that was way before His time. 

Boy, I know I have missed so many other things because my mind has been distracted or my heart was just in other places.  I want to be sold out.  I want to be a world changer through Jesus.  As a teen I thought all of those things, I desired them all, but it was in immaturity, not really knowing what it takes, how hard it is, how life can subtly turn you.  Now I think them and think, "the only way is through the strength of Jesus".  I am not much by myself...  Not much at all...

A philosphical question and a question of philosophy...

As Christians, we are constantly trying to get rid of those elements of society that function in an immoral manner - porn on the web, violence in video games, sex in TV and movies, etc. My question is for those "free willers" out there, those Armenian brothers:
If God is a God of choice, desiring that individuals chose him, then why do we try to rid an individual of choice? Let me clarify, why do we try to rid ourselves of the negative choices in life?
Do we make for stronger Christians if we remove any possibility of sin?
Do we make for better Christians if we take away any chance of falling away?
Will grace abound? Is our job to clean up society and remove temptations? (I am not talking at a personal level, I am talking at a corporate level).
Someone might well then say, "what choice do we have but to get rid of immoral things, they corrupt, kill, maim and smell bad." Of course they do, they are immoral because they are in direct opposition to the things of God (which tend to smell quite peculiar and tantalizing). But is getting "rid" of this societal corrosion really the answer? Even God left Adam & Eve with a choice, he left them the chance to be immoral. It has always boggled me how much time we Christians put into banning, badmouthing, and breaking down immoral activities only to have five more pop up in their wake. I have long felt that, if anything, we loose ground in this fight. Perhaps, we do not gain ground because our struggle is not meant to be against imoral "things". Perhaps, God has never desired a moral nation or people, but an obedient, loving community. Perhaps, He cares much more about the condition of our souls than the language on our lips (fixing the first will lead to a rebirth in the former).
This is why Christians being involved in the working of politics and schools, homes and businesses, is of the utmost importance, because we must find a way to give a choice to the masses. We must make sure that the world not only has sex, drugs, and rock n' roll to chose from, but that they are able to see and chose the grace that can be found in a relationship with Jesus... If we make clear what is wrong but leave out what is right, we only make for moral people. I am about changed lives, not moral people...

Sing Songy..

Wish washy, pish posh, ding dong, sling shot, billy goat... These words all come to mind this morning. Mostly cause I like the way they roll off the old tongue. I wish thoughts rolled out of your head like words roll from your lips. I am a thinker, not a great thinker, not a mediocre thinker, just a plan ol simple, can't get it out of my mind thinker. I analyse and criticize and chew and swallow and chew again. Sometimes this is a good thing, keeps me finding new ways to do things. Sometimes this is bad, keeps me from doing anything. Sometimes it makes me dwell on what needs no dwelling. And sometimes I can't help but look at the moon and wonder about all the grandness of God who shines a light even in the darkness. This morning it is my darkness that needs the light. It is not the kind of darkness the scripture speaks of, rather it is some sort of uncertainty some mystery within that seeks to break forth. There are ages and times when you deal more closely with these things. Where your inner man trys to break it's bonds and the Spirit within trys to free you. I think 28 in the winter must be one of those times for me. I will not bemoan this time, I will not grieve its existence. It is good to be at unrest and unsettled. It is good to not trust yourself. It is necessary for freedom and faith, belief and undoing. My darkness, my void, my inside man only seems to focus the light for me. I may not see God much clearer, but now I see that He can be seen clearer. And so I will let the good times roll, free my lips to sing songs and my heart to praise with lifted hands. I will find power in truth and justice, in Gods honor and glory and grace...

Not Who I Am...

I woke up early this Christmas Eve. My thoughts were not on gum drops and little babies but on what I have become. I don't know if Christmas is a good time to take personal inventory or not, normally a thing left for New Years, but I have and so I will.
I couldn't stop thinking that my spirituality has been beaten and bruised and because of this brutality I have not been the man I should be, not for God, not for Jenni, not for the students in my ministry (I am not looking for accolades so please don't tell me how wrong I am). It is not as though I have abandoned any of those three or others, it is more like I have been choosing easy routes. Churches can be messy places, having people in them an all. Sometimes what should be is a far cry from what is, and when you are young and idealistic and run into those walls of resistance and messiness, it can really throw you off course. I have literally not done things in my youth ministry in the past few years because I have said "it is not worth it". Not, "it's not worth the time," or "worth the effort", "money", "sacrifice", etc. the "it" is the putting my neck on the chopping block in order to maybe share the gospel with a few kids. Doing something that might rock the boat a little bit, not for the sake of rocking but for the sake of the gospel.
Realizing that my bruises have left me a bit broken is one thing, but beginning to choose the path less trodden is another. I want every area of my life to be centered around Christ like compassion and service, often times it is centered around Kent like desires and complaining... I need the renewal of the Spirit of God, I need the Christ Child to smile on me and heal my brokenness. I need the self-control and servant heart that only God can deliver. I don't know that big changes are necessary, rather, small changes - after all, life is lived in the details with rare moments of grandness and beauty.
Well, how is that for confession and repentance.

Fwd: Luke 16:1-14 -- True Riches

The Parable of the Shrewd Manager (study these verses)

1Jesus told his disciples: "There was a rich man whose manager was accused of wasting his possessions. 2So he called him in and asked him, 'What is this I hear about you? Give an account of your management, because you cannot be manager any longer.'
3"The manager said to himself, 'What shall I do now? My master is taking away my job. I'm not strong enough to dig, and I'm ashamed to beg— 4I know what I'll do so that, when I lose my job here, people will welcome me into their houses.'
5"So he called in each one of his master's debtors. He asked the first, 'How much do you owe my master?'
6" 'Eight hundred gallons[a] of olive oil,' he replied.
"The manager told him, 'Take your bill, sit down quickly, and make it four hundred.'
7"Then he asked the second, 'And how much do you owe?'
" 'A thousand bushels[b] of wheat,' he replied.
"He told him, 'Take your bill and make it eight hundred.'
8"The master commended the dishonest manager because he had acted shrewdly. For the people of this world are more shrewd in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light. 9I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.
10"Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. 11So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches? 12And if you have not been trustworthy with someone else's property, who will give you property of your own?
13"No servant can serve two masters. Either he will the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."
14The Pharisees, who loved money, heard all this and were sneering at Jesus. 15He said to them, "You are the ones who justify yourselves in the eyes of men, but God knows your hearts. What is highly valued among men is detestable in God's sight.

The Purpose of Prayer

If there is one thing I struggle with as a believer it is the discipline of having a personally devoted prayer life.

I think Jesus gets me best in Matthew 6 when he says...

"6But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. 7And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."(emphasis mine)

When I pray I suffer from the knowledge that the Father already knows what I need before I ask him. I think many Christians have a nagging feeling about this knowledge that keeps them from having a devoted prayer life. I have wondered if it is my definition of what prayer is that keeps me from being motivated by it. I assume that prayer is a communication between God and I where I tell Him about me. What if prayer has very little to do with me (As far as providing God information of what I want, how I feel, etc. - he already knows, remember, he's God)? What if prayer has much more to do with me alligning myself with what Gods will is, what Gods heart beats for. What if it is about me seeking the coming of God's kingdome, and forgiveness of those I need to forgive as I am being forgiven. What if?

The Pastoral Prayer

Today I was invited by our area Chamber of Commerce to lead them off in prayer. It's always funny to me when I get asked to do that type of thing. I know that it is a privilege and all that, it's just funny. I wonder if Jesus ever got asked to pray at events? If he'd a been praying, they would have only needed like two strips of bacon and three eggs (you know, cause he would have multiplied them - fish and bread - get it?). Well, I guess that's life as a Pastor, always interesting and sometimes funny. Always living in a weird dichotomy of trying to understand how to better spread the good news and how to remain personally faithful to Christ.
I must say as a side note, that I believe pastors should probably be better attenders of events like that than church board meetings. Hah. I'm sure many of those people there today were believers, but I know that I had a much better chance of rubbing shoulders with someone who is not than I do in my church. I often miss the exhilaration of discussing the passion and sacrifice of Christ with someone who has never heard it.

An Evangelical Circus

Today I was thinking on how shallow of a job American Evangelical Churches have done when it comes to taking care of the poor, widows and orphans. I wondered if it has to do with that word "Evangelical", it means to share the good news. It is, the battle cry of our churches, and why not, there is a lost world that is in desperate need of saving. I will fight for that the rest of my life. I just wonder, as I'm sure a million men and women have wondered, is there more? Not more in the way of salvation, I believe that Jesus is the only way to the Father. I mean, is there more we should be focusing on. Can the substance of the message of Christ, be separated from the form in which it was delivered? I suppose it can, but does it loose it's power? Is this why miracles are few and far between in our body of believers, because we don't need them? Who needs a miracle when all you are doing is singing and listening? Miracles are the things of dirty alley's and God-forsaken avenues. Healing is for the broken and sick, not the healthy. I tell you what, I am as desperate in this area as anyone. For me it is simply easier to prepare a sermon than it is to serve at a soup kitchen. I am not saying we should forsake one for the other, I am asking, shouldn't we be doing both? Shouldn't our faith have actions? Some questions do arise though.
Where does the responsibility lie? Is it a corporate responsibility? ie. should I as the minister be planning all kinds of events for people to serve the poor? Sometimes I think this still negates a persons individual responsibility to walk as Christ walked. Yet, I do not think it is totally an individual response to Christ. I do think there is a place for the community of believers to stand together for those who are hurt, oppressed and overlooked. I sure as heck wish I were smarter.
I hope that I can learn to live a life that is more than songs and sermons...